I lost the heart
of my heart, my Blues Man, to lymphoma, on March 27th, 2001. At the
time, it seemed to me, that Blues had been stolen from me, taken
off to become one of the brightest new stars in the sky, but I also
knew that in the deepest part of my being, Blues gave himself to
the stars, so that he could give life back to another, here on earth.
My
father's birthday is March 27th. Birthdays are a time for celebration,
for joy and laughter. On March 27th, 2001, I cried until there were no
more tears to be shed, and then I cried again. It has been said, that our
animals shepherd us through certain times in our lives, and when we are
ready to turn the corner, and make it on our own, they let us go, but I
wasn't ready to let go.
And then I understood . . .
One week before Blues died, my father was given a clean bill of health
by his doctor. It wasn't just any check-up. My father had survived two
rounds of bladder cancer, a cancer that my family did not talk about openly,
but, all the same, it clouded our thoughts, every single day. It would
have been easier, if we could have shared our frustrations, and our sense
of helplessness, in our inability to cure my father, but talking about
it, was simply something we just didn't do. But Blues knew. He loved my
father fiercely, and there was a magical quality to the special relationship
they shared.
One afternoon, not long after my father
had undergone surgery, he and my mother came to our home for a visit. When
my father came through the door, he looked as though he had aged several
years, and though I never said it, I really feared that we were losing
him. He ate very little, and then he went to lie down on the futon in our
living room. We surrounded him with pillows, and covered him with a blanket.
A
few minutes passed, and then Blues, ever so gently, jumped up on the futon,
and lay beside my father. He didn't nuzzle my father as he usually did,
but lay perfectly still by his side, ever watchful. Soon, my father began
to stroke Blues' fur. Blues had been my very special guardian angel and
now he was my father's, because, when my father got up from the futon some
time later, he stood straight, no longer stooped over, and the grey pallor
had left his face, to be replaced by a healthy flush. He said he felt better
than he had in a long time. The change was like being part of a magic show,
and not being able to figure out the sleight of hand. My parents left,
and Blues slept nearly a day away.
We talked about what
had happened, but never really entertained the thought, that on that day,
whose date I don't remember, Blues had performed a miracle of love and
healing.
In the summer of 2000, Blues was diagnosed
with lymphoma, and on March 27th, 2001, he lost his courageous battle.
He was the sun and moon and stars to us. He was our Smiling Blue Skies.
He was everyone's Blues Man. Blues gave us a lifetime of love and memories,
in his six short years with us, and I believe, deep in my depths, in a
special place we call the soul, that Blues traded his lifetime, so that
my father could have his. Blues surely was our show dog, and every day,
even now, over three years later, he continues to show us how to live,
love, laugh, and, most of all, to learn.
Tonight, go
outside, and turn towards the stars, and if you close your eyes, and listen
really hard, you will hear the wonderful music of our Blues Man, the music
of life, and of sweet dreams. You can't have a rainbow, if you don't have
the rain. You can't see the rainbow, if you don't feel the rain. In my
mind's eye, and in my heart, there will always be Smiling Blue Skies.
"The Smiling Blue
Skies Cancer Resource Centre"
The most comprehensive
on-line canine cancer information centre in Canada.
Recipient
of the Golden Retriever Club of Canada.
Silmaril Kennel Trophy,
for the human/animal bond.
Home of Smiling Blue Skies Ceramics and Limited Edition
Gifts.
ALL
proceeds to canine cancer treatment and research.
University
of Guelph, Ontario: Pet Trust: In Memory of Blues.
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Suzi Beber
author
Victoria, British Columbia,
Canada
suzib@smilingblueskies.com
www.smilingblueskies.com

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